be single and looking, or together and lonely?

Category: Dating and Relationships

Post 1 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 2:04:04

Hey guys so I have a scenario, if you are with a boyfriend and you know you love him dearly, but then he starts to grow distant from you, you don't feel as close as you use to feel, and now you are presented with the following decision. Which would you rather be, single and looking for a new lover, or with your significant other, and feeling lonely. I want to know everyone's oppinion, and don't be afraid to be honest. Thanks.

Post 2 by UnknownQuantity (Account disabled) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 2:59:08

Hi,

Honestly, I'd prefer to be single and looking for someone else than with someone and feeling lonely. However, before any rash decitions were made, I would try talking to my partner and telling how I was feeling and seeing if anything could be salvaged.

Post 3 by Jesse (Hmm!) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 5:24:17

Definitely single, only it's definitely my policy not to look for anyone, too. If it happens it happens.

Post 4 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 8:29:36

Hmm In that situation I'd rather be single, than trying to fool myself into thinking that something positive will emerge from the pain.

Post 5 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 8:32:51

Well, first of all I would talk to my lover and tell him how I feel and try to fix the relationship. But of course, if that fails, I would ... probably ... prefer to be single. But I'm not sure honestly. I would try everything to fix the relationship first.

Post 6 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 10:00:54

Or you could ask yourself this poser...If you were with someone and your heart was yearning for another, would you stay, or would you throw up everything, to be with that other person..

Post 7 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 10:51:41

Well, I personally wouldn't stay with anyone who made me feel lonely. I would rather be single and have as much fun as I possibly could!!! Hope this helps.
*sexy*

Post 8 by The Roman Battle Mask (Making great use of my Employer's time.) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 12:21:31

Single so you can do the girl equivelent of snorting coke off a strippers breasts, wait, that's right your bi, so you can snort coke off a girls breasts, dump the asshole and go have fun.

Post 9 by Brooke (I just keep on posting!) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 15:37:40

Single. I mean, I'd obviously talk to the guy I was with first, just to see if things could be worked out. But if things couldn't be worked out, it seems pointless to be in a relationship and feel lonely.

Post 10 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 15:40:36

Thanks guys for all the help, and the honest, oppinions. We need more of them. Lol.

Post 11 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 17:15:27

i would rather be single for a long time. single but not looking. but you know what being in a relationship has its highs and lows. sometimes it can be good but sometimes it just ends up making you lonely. but hey. if you both love each other, then it will work out. but if its just one person trying to do all the work by reaching out to the other pseron, then its not going to work. hope it helps and besides he may break up with you, if his too distant in the past days. so its a tough situation but thats where you'll find if the relationship would last or not.

Post 12 by Chris N (I just keep on posting!) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 18:46:08

If that loneliness continues for a long period of time, I think it's a sign that something isn't working in a relationship. The whole idea is for compatibilities and communication to exist such that loneliness isn't an issue. That's my take, anyway.

Post 13 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Friday, 09-Sep-2005 21:57:00

awwww, thanks Chris, you're so sweet, but anyway!

Post 14 by maddog (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Saturday, 10-Sep-2005 0:06:59

definitely single, thogh I agree with trying to talk to him first, and seeing if anything can be salvaged. If not, well then, go single, and...well, just...move on! There are lots of other people out there!

Post 15 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Saturday, 10-Sep-2005 16:19:24

Thanks guys. I appreciate the advice.

Post 16 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Saturday, 10-Sep-2005 17:18:25

move on girl, there's other people out there who'd want you. smiles.

Post 17 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Saturday, 10-Sep-2005 19:00:56

If you're lonely because he seems to be moving away from you, he's either losing interest in you, or he's getting what he needs somewhere else. Either way, move on, you'll be happier if you have the ability to take what's offered elsewhere.

Post 18 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Sunday, 11-Sep-2005 6:51:43

Hmmm, Beautiful_Dorian? Who wants me. Lol. And thanks Blackbird.

Post 19 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 11-Sep-2005 16:53:14

maybe giving each others space would be great. maybe he just needed sometime to figure things out but i agree with blackbird. its true maybe his geting what he needs from someone else. just try to move on, i know its hard to move forward and forget about him but sooner or later you'll make it through

Post 20 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Sunday, 28-Jun-2009 13:44:02

If you are becoming more distant from your lover that must mean he has moved on as he has changed his values and perspectives. Now, it is very advisable that lovers share values. If a couple who are distant stays together it can result in boredom with each other or perhaps even problematic.